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From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End,omes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.
Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.
You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection -- the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed.
Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
"Like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post
"Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller… David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal
- Sales Rank: #30644 in Books
- Published on: 2013-10-08
- Released on: 2013-10-08
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.26" h x 31.75" w x 5.47" l, .88 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 464 pages
From Booklist
Wong—in reality Cracked.com writer Jason Pargin—follows up his comic horror novel John Dies at the End (2009) with this wildly out-there sequel. Best friends John and Dave live in a smallish town that seems to suffer from a surfeit of supernatural and suspicious events. The story begins with a local cop being, um, intruded upon by a spiderish creature that turns its victim into, um, a zombie-like individual, and it gets a whole lot weirder from there. Wong, the book’s first-person narrator and also one of its central characters (John being “John Cheese,” a fellow Cracked.com contributor) focuses mainly on the laughs and the strange goings-on, but there’s a very interesting idea here: What if the current pop-culture zombie mania could lead to a pseudo-zombie apocalypse? What if, in other words, enough people believe in something to turn it into reality? And how do a couple of slacker dudes defeat a creature that, technically, doesn’t even exist? Full of laughs and goofiness, the book should definitely appeal to fans of John Dies at the End and to readers of comic horror fiction in general (especially, it should be noted, fans of British novelist Tom Holt, who will be familiar with the same sort of whimsy and ordinary-guy-in-extraordinary-situation environment.) --David Pitt
Review
“Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller that makes zombies relevant again… From the dialogue to the descriptions, lines are delivered with faultless timing and wit. Wong never has to reach for comedy, it flows naturally with nary a stumble… the most pertinent story of the genre since George Romero's Dawn of the Dead… a tighter, more concentrated read than John Dies at the End… David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you.” ―SF Signal
“The comedic and crackling dialogue also brings a whimsical flair to the story, making it seem like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it.” ―Washington Post
“[A] phantasmagoria of horror, humor--and even insight into the nature of paranoia, perception, and identity.” ―Publishers Weekly, starred review
“Violence, soy sauce and zombie survivalists abound in this clever and funny sequel to John Dies at the End (2009). One of the great things about discovering new writers, especially in the narrow range of hybrid-genre comedic novels, is realizing that they're having just as much fun making this stuff up as you are reading it. Sitting squarely with the likes of S.G. Browne and Christopher Moore, the pseudonymous Wong (Cracked editor Jason Pargin) must be pissing himself laughing at his own writing, even as he's giving fans an even funnier, tighter and justifiably insane entry in the series.... The humor here is unforced and good-naturedly gory. Anyone who enjoyed the recent films The Cabin in the Woods or Tucker & Dale vs. Evil will find themselves right at home. An upcoming (cult?) film adaptation of John Dies at the End promises to lure new readers. A joyful return to the paroxysms of laughter lurking in the American Midwest.” ―Kirkus
“Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next.” ―Publishers Weekly on John Dies at the End
“…strikes enough of a balance between hilarity, horror, and surrealism here to keep anyone glued to the story.” ―Booklist on John Dies at the End
“You can (and will want to) read JOHN DIES AT THE END in one sitting.” ―BookReporter.com on John Dies at the End
“Wong blends horror and suspense with comedy--a tricky combination--and pulls it off effortlessly.” ―FashionAddict.com on John Dies at the End
“It’s interesting, compelling, engaging, arresting and--yes--sometimes even horrifying. And when it’s not being any of those things, it’s funny. Very, very funny.” ―January Magazine on John Dies at the End
“This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read.” ―Jacob Kier, publisher, Permuted Press, on John Dies at the End
“The rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares; David is a consistently hilarious narrator whose one-liners and running commentary are sincere in a way that makes the horrors he confronts even more unsettling.” ―The Onion AV Club on John Dies at the End
“A loopy buddy-movie of a book with deadpan humor and great turns of phrase...Just plain fun.” ―Library Journal on John Dies at the End
“John Dies at the End is like an H.P. Lovecraft tale if Lovecraft were into poop and fart jokes.” ―Fangoria on John Dies at the End
“The book takes every pop culture trend of the past twenty years, peppers it with 14-year-old dick and fart humor, and blends it all together with a huge heaping of splatterpunk gore…. Successfully blend[s] laugh-out-loud humor with legitimate horror.” ―i09.com on John Dies at the End
About the Author
DAVID WONG is the pseudonym of Jason Pargin, Senior Editor and columnist for humor megasite Cracked.com. He is the author of John Dies at the End and This Book Is Full of Spiders.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Not John Dies At The End, but a good sequel
By Matthew
I was told by quite a few people that this book is better than the first. I disagree, but I still enjoyed it a lot.
We pick up a few years later. Dave, John, and Amy are existing. That's probably the best word for it. The beginning and introduction are definitely some of the better sections of the book. Wong's wit comes right back like it never took a break. The juxtaposition of Dave trying to survive his depression and other mental issues in the real world while being forced to deal with horrific things from other worlds is compelling. At first, getting chapters from Amy and John's perspectives is a highlight of the book. John, in particular, takes on a lot more dimension, and we get the chance to see him as more than just a clown.
But the middle of the book overdoes the perspective switching to the point where everything seems to progress very slowly. In comparison to JDATE, the story also seems short on ideas. Especially during the long portion when Wong convinces us that all he's got up his sleeve is a typical zombie apocalypse, but with spiders. (It's a lot more complicated) Since the things that are happening are so blatantly terrible, we lose a lot of the book's humor during this section. I started to miss the charm of John, Dave, and a few other people being the only ones who know about the dark supernatural things happening. We definitely lose the caveat that this "actually" happened in some small town in America. If the events in this book took place, they'd have made national news.
The last third of the story really saves it. As soon as the characters reunite, the book kicks into gear, and becomes fast, scary, fun, and filled with ideas all over again. This includes at least one moment so epic, ridiculous, and just slightly stupid, (in the right way) that I had to read it over twice to believe it had actually been put in a published book.
If you wanted JDATE to stick to a single plot line instead of being a series of arcs and episodes, here you go. You'll probably like this more. Personally I didn't like it as much, but I still had fun.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Far Better Than the First
By Brandon Carbaugh
Let me preface this by saying that I was a big fan of John Dies At The End. I discovered the book back when it was still freely available on the internet; before it exploded and became a cult horror sensation / movie / etc. That said, John Dies was never a perfect book, or even a very good one. Fans love the book for its deeply character-rooted humor, bizarre Lovecraftian monster-horror, and compulsive, borderline-addictive readability. This let us see past patchy pacing, spotty storytelling, and some questionable exposition dumps.
Having just finished "This Book Is Full of Spiders" at 2 AM this morning, I'm happy to report Wong has ironed out the kinks without losing the charm.
Somewhere between these two books, I think Wong must have taken a class on story structure, or maybe sold his soul to the devil or something. In either case, Spiders is a polished, carefully-crafted piece of storytelling, and it shows. Though Wong hits the gas on the scares and action pretty early, he's now smart enough not to keep his foot on the pedal the whole time. John Dies was comedy-horror fired out of a shotgun. Spiders cuts like a surgeon's scalpel.
Starting within the framework of your basic "zombie outbreak / city on lockdown" story, Wong slowly layers on the sense of mystery and dread. This IS a Wong book, though, so we always know that it's just a matter of time until something horrible and otherworldly explodes out of someone's ass, and the story takes its next sharp left turn into deeper weirdness, more dire straits, broader humor, bigger action, higher stakes, and even tighter tension. Wong shoves the reader into one bats***crazy scenario after another -- and then before the reader even has time to orient, he shakes the hell out of them, cackles gleefully in their face, makes a dick joke, and shoves them on to the next one.
The characters are deeper, the jokes are more relevant (if less frequent), the scares are bigger (and darker, and loom larger), and Wong even has a thing or two to say about the nature of mass hysteria.
Spiders comes highly recommended.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Don't bother unless you're a huge fan of the first book. But maybe not even then.
By Ozymandius
Can't recommend. This book is "John Dies At The End" only with all the good and new stuff gone. JDAtE was good because you can tell Dave's been dreaming up this world for a long time. With Spiders, we've already been there. The story is muddied, inconsistent and has no motivation.
The plot is basically the heroes being thrown around by situations and scooby-dooing the ending. Monsters appear when needed, heroes escape at the right time or is saved at the right time, there's no agency to any character, they do stuff because the plot demands it. Its practically insulting because the two main characters really only escapes when they need to and not by their own actions.
Did I mention monsters appearing to scare you, then inconsistently, doesn't come back when the heroes are around? There's that, but there's also jump scares. Every other chapter ends or begins in a jump scare. In a book. Dave, jump scares work in movies and can be added to scripts, but they don't work with books. Especially not if you keep doing it. "Dave turns the corner, and a sees the bloody maw of a monster!" Then chapter ends and you find out its just a statue of a monster. (example, not a real excerpt, but shit like this happens a lot in this book.)
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